Blimbam's official ad rankings

We agree with the masses this year: the 2010 SuperBowl ads were, at best, a letdown. With only one ad scoring a Perfect 10 on our oh-so-precise ad effectiveness meter, here's how we ranked the $54.3 billion in ads, along with some recommendations ...

The Lone Soldier
Doritos “hands off my mama”: 10.0
(Top-Spot Analysis: Every ad needs a funny black kid willing to slap an adult for a good laugh.)

Seek 2011 Exclusivity for Ad Copywriters
Snickers football: 9.0

Book More Primo Ad Slots in 2010
Google “search on”: 8.5
Bud Light “island radio”: 8.0

Send Personal Thank-You’s to the Focus Groups
Dennys Grand Slam #3 (birthday cake): 7.8
Bud Light “book club”: 7.5
Doritos “funeral casket”: 7.3
Cars.com “Timothy Richman”: 7.2
Coca-Cola “Africa sleep walker”: 7

Stick to Olympics Advertising
Doritos “barking collar”: 6.7
Bud Light “house of cans”: 6.5
VW “das auto slug bug”: 6.4
Bud Light “scientists, end of the world”: 6.3
FloTV “history of America” featuring The Who: 6.1
Budweiser “human bridge”: 6.0

Stick to Late-Night Advertising
Audi Clean Diesel “green police”: 5.8
Intel “best invention ever”: 5.7
Hyundai “10 years/Favre”: 5.5
Homeaway.com with Chevy Chase: 5.4
Bud Light “auto tune”: 5.3
Denny’s Grand Slam #2 (Patriotic): 5.1
Hardee’s “crying over jalapenos”: 5.0

Beg the NFL for Your Money Back
Teleflora “flowers in a box”: 4.6
Coca-Cola “Simpsons”: 4.5
Dodge Charger “man’s last stand”: 4.2
Budweiser “friends and fences/Clydesdale”: 4.1
Boost Mobile “Shuffle”: 4.0
eTrade “milkaholic”: 4.0
KGB “sumo wrestlers”: 4.0

Stick to WNBA Advertising
Tru.tv “6 more weeks of football”: 3.8
Denny’s Grand Slam #1: 3.7
Motorola featuring Megan Fox: 3.5
Census Bureau: 3.2
Vizio featuring Beyonce: 3.1
Dove for Men: 3.0

Start Seeking Government Bailouts
Hyundai Sonata music: 2.9
Kia “sock monkey and toys”: 2.7
Dorito’s “Chinese star”: 2.5
Focus on the Family with Tim Tebow: 2.3
Universal Orlando “Harry Potter”: 2.3
Bridgestone “killer whale bachelor party”: 2.2
FloTV “Change out of that skirt”: 2.2
Michelob Ultra with Lance Armstrong: 2.1
Budweiser 55 Select: 2.1
Sketchers Shapeups: 2.0
eTrade “He’s eating lobster!”: 2.0
Dante’s Inferno: 2.0
Dr. Pepper “KISS, I’m a Dr.”: 2.0

Let’s Just Pretend That Never Happened…
Honda Crosstour: 1.8
Dockers “free pants”: 1.5
Career Builder “expose yourself”: 1.4
PopSecret “awesome+awesome = awesomer”: 1.1
Go Daddy “massage”: 1.1
Taco Bell featuring Charles Barkley: 1.0
Go Daddy “too hot for TV?”: 1.0

Special Disclaimer and Production Note: Crappy CBS house ads don't count. Ever. But if we did set the meter, the David Letterman/Oprah/Leno and "How I Met Your Mother" ads would have fallen somewhere between Taco Bell and Go Daddy...

Oh, and in case you missed 'em, you can see this year's ads on CBS's website.